Breaking Free From the Box

Over the Easter holiday weekend, as I sat and visited with my parents, they shared a perspective I had never heard from them before.

Both were the first in their family to graduate from college.

They had each left the different communities in which they had been raised and attended college.

The reason is what they shared with me several weeks ago.

They went to college because, if they didn't, they believed they would eventually be in a career where their physical abilities would limit their ability to work.

If they didn't go to college, the only work they would be able to do would be physical labor.

I do not doubt that this was, in part, true.  My dad was raised on a farm, and my mom's parents owned a mechanic shop in a rural agricultural community.

It's easy to be “off the cuff” and say they were correct in their estimations.

But why were they right is where my brain goes?  This is also why my wife thinks I argue.

The answer isn't good enough for me.  I want to know why it's the answer.  I'm curious to know the deeper meaning, seeking to gain insight.

And that's what I get to share with you today.  The deeper meaning of why my parents were right in what they said, but also why the answer today for so many is not to attend college, or why you need to take the leap and start a new career, or find a new group of people to interact with.

The Box 

Thinking outside the box was coined in 1971 as a directive for solving the 9-dot puzzle.

The puzzle harkens back to a generation earlier, the 1950s.  

The puzzle was shared by consultants and advisors who used it to encourage people trying to solve it by showing that the solution was not held within the context of the dots.

The setup involves connecting all nine dots with four straight lines without lifting the writing utensil.

The only way this can be done is by extending the lines beyond the dots.  “Thinking Outside the Box”

Seventy-five years later, with a new generation taking the reins in leadership, and a younger generation deciding if a college education is a path for them or not, the idea of breaking free from the box thinking still exists.

Over the last 30 years, the idea of extending the lines outside the box of dots has emerged in a whole new way, essentially with the idea “it's scary out there, where there is no structure.”

Leaving the job you have today for the potential of something greater… that's scary, what if it doesn't work out?

Not going to college to work in a trade… that's scary, what if you can't get a job?

Trying to win… that's scary, what if you lose?

My parents were right.  If they stayed where they were without a college education, they could have ended up where they didn't want to be, where people with no college education were.

My parents were right because that's what the people around them said and did.

Just as much, there are people today who still believe the only way to have security is with a diploma costing multiple six figures, or a job, or a group of people who are complacent with their lives.

Our lives are confined by the boxes we create.

Build the Box

The box we build can define everything if it can dictate the way we work, the possibilities we have, and the protection we have.

We think life inside the box is stable, and life outside the box is anything and everything else.

The lie we tell ourselves is that the box is stable.  The box is no more stable than a cardboard castle in the rain!

The box is just walls.  Walls that hold us back from what is possible.

There is value in building the box, to know where the walls are, so you can find every way that is outside the box, too.

My conversation with Scott Danner proved this point in three ways.  

• We see the opportunities outside the box through the relationships and conversations that are different from our own.  

• Life is not a game of collecting and holding.  It's a life of risking and trying with what we have collected and gained.

• Not trying will hurt more than trying and falling short.  If you think there’s more, you're right!

Invite

Here’s an invitation to you. If you want to spend time with people who think differently, too, who are up for going all in, and think there's more. Join the Summer Roundtable.

Next Wednesday, I will start a new Roundtable Cohort. It's a 12-week commitment, but you can try the first week for free. Call it a baker's dozen!

It's a weekly Zoom session where the group shares stories and experiences, fostering personal growth that will fuel professional growth.

If you'd like to learn more about the Roundtable, please schedule a time with me to discuss the details and ensure it's right for you.

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.