Chase Meaning, Not Medals

Worth is not tied to accomplishments, medals, or winnings. Worth is, always was, and always will be about value - the value we find in ourselves and the value we bring to others.

But there are a whole lot of people running around trying to collect as many medals as they can, foregoing the opportunity to walk to meaning.

Ramsey Bergeron had a back surgery to repair herniated disks at 19 and was unable to walk. Yet that didn't stop him from running.  He ran six full Ironman races before having re-herniated disks, which forced him to walk the marathon portion to complete the race.

I've never considered doing an Ironman.  I have a handful of friends who have.  It's literally not a mountain I feel compelled to climb.  But at the same time, if any one of my kids wanted me to do it with them.  I'd tell them not to let me beat them!

For some people, the chase to climb mountains, run races, and compete, all with the opportunity to win a medal, is everything.  I've lost it.

I haven't lost competitiveness.  Oh no, I love to win.  But not at the cost that so many others I see pay to do so.

For Ramsey, the cost was his body.  As a sponsored athlete for the supplement company EAS, he was paid to compete.  To race.  To push his body to the point of breakdown to win.

We applaud this drive in athletes of all kinds.  Amateur to professional.  But how often do we see what it costs them?

The former professional football player's dad, who at 44 isn't able to run because of years of abusing his body.

The retired pro basketball mom, who deals with constant pain in her neck from disc compression and numbness in her hands.

The corporate executive who has a quasi-hidden addiction to uppers, downers, alcohol, gambling, and pornography, all to escape the pressure and stress.  Quasi-hidden because they have it under control enough to be a hot mess, but everyone they work with knows.

Meaning in the Mess

I'm not advocating a life of zero competition.  I'm all in on it, but as I shared in part last week, for all the right reasons.

The resilience and strength Ramsey developed through training for and competing in 8 Ironman races gave him the tools to help clients deal with “wedding cake on the floor’ moments or any number of other challenges.

Knowing how to overcome adversity is a tool that everyone will use repeatedly in life.  It's in the season of overcoming adversity where we find that doing it for the medals is meaningless.  Rather than doing so because we can, valuing the growth that comes through the journey is the reason.

External validation is like a clean car; it won't last.  You can park a car in a garage with no exposure to the elements, and yet it won't stay clean.

The only validation that lasts is personal and internal.  Yet once you get there, you will quickly learn that true fulfillment and validation come from helping others become free from the race to nowhere.

The pivot to growth and development as the source of validation is moving from being success-driven to significance-driven.

The growth part is overcoming the adverse situations that hold us prisoner.

Change Bank Accounts

Ramsey faced this, just like so many more of us do.  Running to prove his worth and meet professional expectations.  Staying with it because he had to, not that he wanted to. He did this until the cost became one he was unwilling to pay.  Yet the price was high, a marriage, and many other relationships as well.

I've paid the price.  Strained relationships.  Unwillingness to do the real work, the work of changing what I was pursuing.

Instead of focusing on accounts where you constantly withdraw, switch to accounts where you make deposits.  Deposits into the lives of others, not being myopic on your needs at the expense of others.

Take time for yourself, but also to serve and give more to others.  Run the race to run with others, not against others.

I'll leave you today without another statement from Ramsey: “The man who enjoys walking will always walk further than the man who enjoys the destination.”

Enjoy the walk.  See the scenery, enjoy the company of those you are with.  I'd run an Ironman to be with my kids.  I won't do it at the price of being away from them!

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.