Do People Trust You?

In the early 2000s, John Maxwell was speaking in the capital city of Romania, Bucharest.

The auditorium was filled with people eager to hear the American speak. There was a hum in the crowd with anticipation.

Just as John was about to take the stage to share his insights on leadership and why everyone in the audience should aspire to lead, his translator pulled him close and made this statement.

“I know you speak about Leadership, Dr. Maxwell.  I want to bring to your attention something about the people here in Romania.  We don’t trust leaders.  Being a leader in Romania is not a noble aspiration.  It is the position that takes from people.”

Nothing like a good pat on the back and encouragement; in not so many words, he essentially told John this. “You're going to do great, slugger, just to let you know the last three batters got hit by a pitch, the pitcher is throwing absolute rockets, and there are no more ambulances available in the Tri-State area!”

When the Berlin Wall fell in late 1989, it did little to change the sentiment of leaders in the region.

Inevitably, those who stood just beyond the arm's length of the Communist plight – the abuse, dehumanization, manipulation, stepped up and into the new democratic rule.

Communism fell, but it did nothing to bring trust and psychological safety to the millions who were its former subjects.

It's easy to understand.  For decades, multiple generations knew nothing other than the distrust and ownership of communist rule.

There was no personal ownership, no upward mobility, no freedom of choice.  Others, those leaders, chose, decided, and mandated work, socializing, and lives.

Positioning and authority devoid of trust.

So John did what he does.  He got up on stage and spoke to the elephant in the room.

As he shared at the 2024 IDL Summit, he connected with people.  He recognized their experiences and empathized with them in a vulnerable way.

He became trusting because he was not trying to take from them.  He gave from his heart, and so too the audience gave theirs.

Untrustworthy 2025

Recent surveys evaluating the level of trust from politicians, professional athletes, doctors, business owners, neighbors, and friends show we are in a trust desert.

Pew Research found that only 34% believe most people can be trusted.

I know trust was low, but wow.

Work with five other people, and these stats indicate only 1 or 2 think you can be trusted.

Pretty tough sledding!

So what do we do?

The following 3 points shouldn't be a surprise if you've been reading many of my newsletters.

• Establish Safety Through Vulnerability

• Be Authentic and Transparent

• Play the Long Game

Establish Safety Through Vulnerability

I shared this with one of the Roundtable cohorts earlier in the week.  A leader's number one responsibility TODAY is to focus on and establish psychological safety.  If we think for any reason someone is going to use, abuse, or exploit us - WE OUT.  Out may be physically, emotionally, or mentally.

Vulnerability for a leader is choosing to ALWAYS tell the truth: no deflecting, no avoiding, no patronizing, no covering up.  Be honest and call a spade a spade.  In most cases, people already know and are waiting for the leader to admit it.

Be Authentic and Transparent

Now, to be authentically vulnerable is knowing how and when.  As Craig Groeschel beseeches, “a leader must ALWAYS tell the truth, but they don’t need to tell ALL the truth.”  Dumping on people isn’t the way to be vulnerable.

I define empathy as putting your arm around people and walking with them. It takes vulnerability to raise your arm and show your sweaty pits!  At the same tim,e when we engage with people like this, we create a partnership - a genuine, symbiotic relationship.

Play the Long Game

Trust is best made in a crock pot or smoker.

Building trust is not about quick wins but about nurturing long-term relationships. It's about being trustworthy and deserving to be in the room, not just appearing trustworthy.

When people get in a rush, they inevitably cause situations where trust is broken, degraded, or hampered.

We are human, and we will make mistake,s and so will others.  They will do something at some point in time to challenge the level of trust you have.  The difference is that they choose to address the misstep with ownership, vulnerability, and authenticity.  If so, trust is almost instantly rebuilt.  If not…well, that is why only 34% of people think others can be trusted.

Before I entirely leave the chat today.  I'd like to share two opportunities for growth within the IDL Community.

On September 17th, I will be kicking off the FALL Roundtable Cohort.  This group will meet weekly on Zoom and go for 12 weeks.  If you want to learn more and if it's a fit for you, reply to this email and I’d love to chat with you.

The next IDL Summit will take place on May 7 & 8, 2026!  My team and I are excited about this 3rd edition, and I know that with all the focus and effort we are putting in right now, this will be the most impactful and exciting event yet.  Save the dates and keep reading for your opportunity to purchase your ticket!  (PS annual Roundtable members get a VIP ticket)

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.