Finding Purpose and Meaning in Suffering

Here is another quote I could have shared from my conversation with Lesley.

“Everybody is dealing with something.”

Lesley and I were scheduled to record our conversation in March of 2024.

About three weeks before our recording, I received a message from her requesting a simplified recording process. We utilize the Riverside platform and ask that guests use a professional microphone and camera, enabling us to deliver a high-quality product for you.

She shared this…

I’m excited to the podcast but all the other stuff is too much for me to handle… can we just roll with the recording and you can grab things elsewhere? I’m dealing with my husband, who has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, so lots on my plate.

I think my response was what allowed us to have the conversation that became this week's podcast, and probably a more meaningful and impactful one.

I'm excited to get to meet you and spend time with you on the podcast.  It breaks my heart to hear about your husband.  I can only imagine all the thoughts, feelings, and emotions you have right now.  With that, I am overly taken by you accepting my offer.  We will be sure to do everything to make this as easy and smooth for you as possible, as well as enjoyable.

The night before the scheduled date in 2024, I received this message:

I need to reschedule

And we did—June of 2025.

Everybody is Dealing with Something

I've been guilty of it. I’ve had interactions with people and only later found out that they were dealing with some very difficult circumstances.

Sometimes I’ve had grace, and other times I’ve been so focused on my interests that I was ‘pedal down, full throttle’ plowing ahead to go where I wanted to go.

You’ve had to deal with stuff.  I've had to deal with stuff.  Everyone is dealing with something.

Lesley’s husband, Simon, died in June of 2024, just a couple of months after his diagnosis.  She dealt with stuff.

Here is the thing that she realized and shared with me.  Everything up to that point —winning races, making movies, and coaching other athletes —prepared her for and gave her the tools to deal with the ‘something.’

Without knowing she was preparing to comfort her pain-riddled husband someday, each race she grinded out, she was creating the mindset to persevere through some of her toughest days.

Suffering Builds Resilience

Life isn't fair.  I've seen or read that a few times this week, and I think it's spot on.

There is nothing fair, even-steven, or equitable about life.

One might go through a lifetime riddled with death, loss, pain, and hurt.

Another could go through life and to those on the outside seem like it was ‘peaches and cream.’

The thing is, the outside circumstances rarely dictate or indicate reality.

However, one truth does stand: if we do the work to endure the suffering, we will become stronger.

We will figure out how to triumph. And don't mistake the reward for a trophy. Often, the greatest reward is saying, 'I made it through.'

It's through the suffering that we can find purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.

Simon’s death and the journey Lesley had to endure gave her a perspective to serve people in a way that would have never been possible without the suffering.  Every conversation, interaction, and project she engages in will be better because of the lessons and experiences she gained from tragic pain.

Walk with People

I can't take someone else’s suffering from them, but I can walk with them.

Lesley walked with Simon, and on that journey, she gained a better understanding of the compassion and grace that others need.

She developed the skill of being more empathetic and curious.  To see below the surface and see people for more than ‘meets the eye.’

Walking with people is not about enabling them; we are all accountable for our own path. We must take the steps on our own, but we don't have to do it alone.

Suffering is only lonely when we are unwilling to seek help from others.  We make the suffering others endure worse when we choose not to ‘walk with them.’

Through suffering, we see that we aren't meant to live life alone. Life is meant to be lived out in community, with connections and interactions.

It's this very principle that many fight against. We fight because the pain of suffering makes us believe that being alone is easier or more virtuous than being vulnerable and sharing our distress or fears with others.

Instead, share, be open, vulnerable, and authentic because someone else needs your strength to build their resilience.

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.