Grit Isn't Enough

Angela Duckworth famously penned her work Grit after researching why her best middle school students weren't the smartest.

Those students had a quality about them that gave them the push to accomplish and achieve more.

In the years since that work was published in 2016, we as a society have worked hard to see, express, and quantify grit.

Before the book Grit, when someone mentioned grit, you might as well have thought of sandpaper, as you might have the internal quality to persevere.

I often think about my grit. It has never been something to prove or display. I’d call it merely a piece of my makeup.

It was honed from years of no other option and repetitiveness.

Any grit I have was developed working on my family farm and, in the years since, working with my hands, whether with cows, doing construction projects, fixing and installing irrigation and fenceposts, or demolishing walls in a ninety-year-old building.

Those actions honed the mindset of ‘keep going until it's done or the day ends.’ There was always an understanding that tomorrow would be the same—more to do and chores to attend to

My Grit

But what about the parts that are hard to specify by actions? Did my GRIT serve me well in dealing with years of never feeling good enough?

Did my GRIT help me deal with challenging times, relationship struggles, and traumatic events?

Did my GRIT allow me to survive but not truly thrive?

Grit isn't enough, and the circumstances in which we as a society seem to use our grit to excel may bring our demise.

Vulnerability is Not Weak

For many years, I felt that any vulnerability would be an admission of weakness. The reality is that it takes tremendous courage and strength to be vulnerable.

From so many conversations and observations, I know I'm not alone. I have also seen from the experiences of others that we are most prone to our personal or professional demise when we lack vulnerability with those closest to us.

My podcast guest this week, Amberly Lago, has experienced and observed the same.

From abuse to bodily damage to addiction and stubbornness, the thought I couldn't tell anyone or I had to do this on my own drove her but isolated her.

Amberly’s journey is one that I can't comprehend. The extent of perseverance is genuinely remarkable. What I can appreciate is her drive.

At the same time, I can see how that drive, the grit, caused her to try to do it all on her own.

We Must Do the Work on Our Own, But We Don’t Have to Do It Alone.

One of the great revelations Amberly discovered through her trials was grit without connection.

We can push ourselves to accomplish amazing feats, but what matters if all we do is push ourselves for ourselves?

Or if we do it without regard for others, have we become better at it?

Connection is a necessity for life. Without human connection, babies die. Without human connection, our work is meaningless. Without connection, grit might as well just be sandpaper.

Grit gives us traction in the challenging moments of life. With that traction, connection with others makes our perseverance meaningful.

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.