How to Build Trust in an UnTrusting World

Let's kick off our time today with a challenge: Can you name a career or a corner of the world where people or relationships don't play a crucial role?

I'll wait.

I can't.  Even when I try to think of the most remote, isolated, and individualized operations, there is still some facet of relationships and connection to people.

No matter how hard we try to minimize our dependence on humans, the truth remains that every aspect of our world is intertwined with human connection.

And in these human connections, trust plays a pivotal role. It's the glue that holds relationships together, the foundation on which we build our interactions.

In many ways, people have come to rely on technology to replace the trust they need in others.

When trust is lacking, we often turn to technology as a substitute. We set up recording devices, replace people with robots, or rely on AI. But can these truly replace the trust we seek in human relationships?

(Right about now might not be the time to open up the can of worms about whether you can trust technology and AI…I'll save that for next week ;)

Brad Englert knows about technology.  He had a distinguished career in the space, working for Accenture, a multinational tech giant, and then serving as Chief Information Officer at the University of Texas at Austin.

Everything he did was technology.

You would think he might be an expert on how to augment the human side of business with technology.

It might surprise you that the key to everything he did, taught, learned, and discovered in his career was ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS!

Broken Trust or Built Trust

Just about to step out to dinner with his wife, Brad received a call from his boss.  She was a firefighter type.  Worked up and wanting a fire put out NOW, she tore into Brad, saying, “I need a white paper now.”

This wasn't the first time Brad had received a call like this, and maybe you know the drill.

It can come via a call, text message, or email.

I remember the days of being on call with my nutrition business.

The 5 am phone call on a Sunday morning that a customer was out of an ingredient to feed his cows.  Or some health challenge in their herd was discovered, and they urgently wanted it fixed.

Thinking back to those days, I can feel the heat building in my face, my heart rate jumping after seeing the name on the phone, dreading the ensuing conversation.

Brad learned a lesson and used the tool in that evening's conversation. I wish I had realized sooner.

Say Whoa.  Not “whoa,” as in “Whoa, take it easy, bro.”  Whoa, as in slow down.

This simple tactic helped maintain trust, preventing a breakdown.

The breakdown that ensues when someone says jump and, without thinking it entirely through, you've already leapt and have no idea when, where, or how you will land.

That night, Brad found out what his boss wanted and when by asking a few clarifying questions.  A short 3-page write-up detailing a proof of concept to be delivered in 10 DAYS!  Not a 10 pager within 3 hrs, that surely would have missed the mark.

By having the maturity and experience to say Whoa, Brad was able to maintain trust with his wife and deliver exactly what his boss wanted, thereby building and maintaining trust with her.

Instead of broken trust, trust was built.

Trust is built with interactions.  Belly to Belly interactions.  The type where you can look into someone's eyes and see everything they are looking at, not hoping they are looking at you, but rather at something else, like an email or spreadsheet on the computer screen.

Be not Tell

Want to burn trust faster than a pile of pine needles in the driest part of summer… say to someone, “Just Trust Me.”

What was once a vote of confidence, imploring that you did indeed want someone's trust, now is code for “I'm telling you this because I'm not sure my actions will be what they need to be to maintain trust.”

Words don't build, maintain, or establish trust; trusting and doing do.

The best way to build trust is to do what you say you will do and own up when you don't or didn't do what you said you would.

Making excuses is the quickest way to burn people and trust.

Relationships last generations, and there will be challenges; the only way to maintain and establish trust is to be intentional and strategic.

Understand the importance and influence, and where to allocate resources to ensure the work is done effectively.

We can't be everything to everyone, but we can do what we say we’ll do for the people we say we will do it for.

Our actions have ramifications, and this is never more evident than when leading others.

A child will mimic what a parent or role model does, not what they say.

Employees will do what their leaders or mentors do, not just what they say.

When someone lives by the words and values they hold close, it will spill out.  As someone once told me, “whatever’s inside leaks out.”  Make sure whatever is leaking is what you want others to see and experience.

More with Less

Technology can indeed make use more efficient. AI has transformed time-consuming tasks from efficiency killers to as few as two or three keystrokes of data entry.

But wanting to go faster with relationships and people does not accomplish more.

It does the opposite; it slows progress and breaks trust.  Progress moves at the speed of trust, and trust, plain and simple, takes TIME.

Pressing people for more and faster is the sure-fire way to find yourself alone and frustrated.

Like the classic racing adage, slow down to speed up.  Speed up empowerment and productivity by slowing down to see the people you work with, regardless of whether you lead them.  Because some day you might, they might be buying from you!

The world is too small to chew people up, spit them out, and think it will never come back to bite you!

Because relationships last years, decades, lifetimes!

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.