Infusing Heart into Healthcare

Broken. Not just cracked.  Broken so much that there was no way you even knew what it was, much less attempting to fix it.

It was a full scrap-and-start-over.

In many ways, that is the current state of the U.S. healthcare system.

I have only ever been a patient. I’ve never worked in healthcare.

When I speak with my friends and healthcare providers, they are as frustrated as I am.

The restrictions, hoops, and “red tape” make giving genuine care to patients downright impossible in some cases.

In the past several months, this hasn't been my family’s experience, though.

We have seen so much heart from providers.

Back in September, my oldest son was excited to start his junior-year football season.  He had been dealing with a nagging hamstring/glute issue and figured he had strained it during summer training or kicking.

The week before the first game of the season, he limited his practice time to ensure that he was fit and healthy to start as the defensive end, kicker, and punter for his team.

Friday night lights and he’s warming up and taking a little extra time to stretch - he shared that he just couldn't quite get as loose as he wanted during warmups.

This never seemed to be an issue for him during that game, as he delivered a season's worth of highlights in one game.

3 sacks - including a strip sack, 1 tackle for loss, 2 touchback kickoffs, a 44-yard field goal (where he actually cramped up during the follow-through), and 6 punts averaging over 35 yards each.  Oh, and one of those 6 punts was left-footed; he's right-foot dominant.

His team lost the game, but he played great and felt good about his season and how this would impact his recruiting stocks.

Saturday morning, he woke up sore, which, given he was playing his first football game in 10 months, was to be expected.  He did yoga and other recovery exercises that day and said he felt like his hip just needed to pop, like a stiff finger or a neck that just needed an adjustment.

I woke up Sunday morning to a text message.  “Dad, can you come to my room?”

Across the house, I went to see what was up.  Wincing in pain and distraught, he asked if I could help him get out of bed.  He's not a little kid.  Nearly 6 feet 3 and around 200 lbs, I cautiously coupled both legs and helped him turn onto his side, then sat up on his bed, and went to retrieve some crutches.

What seemed like just a typical sore body was now something much larger.

It is the one time I drew on my network and called for help.

I reached out to Ryan, the managing partner of the professional soccer club in Spokane, and asked if he could connect me with another partner who was the CEO of an imaging clinic in town.

He then offered to arrange for us to meet the team's orthopedic surgeon at the stadium, as she would be there before the day's soccer match.

With one phone call, two motions that would MASSIVELY impact the care timeline my son would receive were set into action.

After waking up in less than six hours, he was seen by a surgeon.  Twenty-four hours later, he had an MRI and X-rays to find out what was restricting my son's hip and causing so much pain.

By Wednesday, he was having surgery to remove a bone fragment the size of a snack-size Snickers bar andlabrum repair.

The catalyst in all of this was about 2 years ago, when we changed our medical coverage.  We stopped our insurance coverage and moved to a cooperative pay plan.

Instead of having to wait for insurance to review, approve, and dictate his care.  It was the two medical professions that worked with performing athletes who realized something was not right and acted as quickly as their schedules allowed.

Both providers took full and absolute ownership of his care and ultimate recovery, recognizing that timing was a key factor in his return to playing football.

The confusing part is that he never got ‘injured’ during the Friday night football game.  And the MRI confirmed the injury was quite old.  He had had a bone fragment from a partial dislocation and fracture of his hip socket floating around for months.  Most likely from one of the last football games he played in 2024

Not having to wait for insurance to approve or grant the surgery he needed was a game-changer.  Not only for his pain but also for his state of mind.  Being able to heal and do things “I haven't been able to do in months,”  Like flex his left glute! 

I share this story because it shows the real heart of our medical providers.  Unfortunately, because the medical care system in the United States has evolved, this isn't always the case.  It's broken beyond repair.

I share this story not to downtrodden the medical system, and not to advocate for cooperative medical coverage (even though I gladly do, and this experience has only emphasized how much it was a great choice for our family).  

But instead of showing, telling, and displaying the heart that medical providers do have.

If we can ever get to the place where the red tape turns to green tape, we’ll all be better off.  

The Things We Hide - Moment

Another element of my son's injury and surgery, which I didn't share, was that on that Monday, the day of his MRI, I was on a plane heading to Ohio for a speaking engagement.

A commitment I made many months earlier was intentionally scheduled between football games.

I wasnt there when my wife took him to his MRI appointment.  Or the consultation with the surgeon or the day of surgery.

Instead, I was 2000 miles away in my hometown, preparing to speak at a leadership conference.

During his surgery, I was speaking to a group of 400 people.  As the surgery dragged on, from two to three, then four and a half hours, I was conducting a workshop. I would present the 4 Walls of Insecurity (Intensity - Insensitivity - Isolation - Inactivity) to the group, and we would share and read the most recent message from my wife.

I’d also check the MyChart notification, at times even knowing more about what was going on than my wife.

Yet, I hid it all from those in the room.

I hid what I was dealing with.  The concern and emotions of a father wishing the best for his kid.  The husband who wasn’t there to support my wife.  

But I hadn't hidden it from everyone.

The night before, Doug Hurley, another keynote speaker at the event, had asked me how I was doing.

And I told him.

Why?  Because I knew what your hide controls you, what you face transforms you.

While I didn’t share with the event attendees what was going on in my life at that moment, I did share with someone.

A person I knew genuinely cared enough to ask and pray for me, my son, and our family.

Ultimately, that is the opportunity for all of us.  To authentically and vulnerably share the things we hide with others.

Not for sympathy, but for connection. For support. And to be a human.  Because not only do we need others to have and share their hearts, we need to do the same for them.

Podcast

This week on The Tyler Dickerhoof Show, I shared my conversation with Mau Espinosa.

Ryan Dewey Smith knew the pain of not being able to care for patients with the kind of heart that our sons received.

Not only the trials, red tape, and dysfunction of the medical processing system, but also the emotional toll it places on everyone in the system.

When his first company, Supportive Concepts for Families, faced an existential crisis, he sought a solution.  The solution was a nonprofit cooperative organization to help other businesses manage the labor- and cost-intensive operations of a health and human services business.

Bureaucratic red tape, insurance red tape, IT updates and needs, and so much more sucked the life – heart – out of the service.

But by sharing the function and costs, his business, and many others could survive and care for their clients and patients with heart.

In my conversation with Ryan, he shared three key points on which he has built Inperium that any team or organization can implement.

1. Passion Fuels the Work
   When your heart is actually in it, you don’t fold at the first obstacle. Passion is what keeps you showing up when the work gets hard, the results lag, and quitting would be easier. It’s not hype—it’s fuel.

2. Commitment Is the Hard Part
   Saying yes costs more than saying no. Commitment demands effort, discipline, and staying power. Walking away is always the simpler option. Growth only happens when you decide you’re in—and you stay in.

3. Leading With Heart

   Real leadership requires heart. Vulnerability. Presence. Putting something of yourself into the work and into people. That takes courage and maturity, but it’s also where trust is built and fulfillment is found. Guarded leaders may survive—but leaders who lead with heart actually make an impact.

Roundtable

2026 marks year six of the IDL Roundtable Community. When I started it, the goal was simple: create a way to serve people beyond the podcast—something more personal, more intentional.

Six years later, it’s grown into a complete 36-week framework, and honestly, I’ve been just as shaped by the journey as the people walking through it with me.

Last year, I made two critical shifts. First, I introduced a shorter on-ramp—a 12-week Awaken the Leader Within experience that parallels the chapters of The Things We Hide. Second, I kept the full-year cohort for those ready to go deeper and stay longer.

The next cohorts begin the week of January 26th.

If you’re at a place where you’re ready to stop hiding from yourself and start leading yourself, I’d love for you to consider joining us.

If you want to learn what the Roundtable is really like—and whether it’s a fit for you—I’m hosting a live information session and training webinar next week, on January 20th at 3:00 PM PST.

No pressure. Just clarity. Come learn, ask questions, and see what leading from the inside out actually looks like in practice.

Register here: https://us02web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_ROh4VHG2T-iS4q6xA1Hohg

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.