Is Your Phone Stealing Your Life?

How much time do you spend on your phone?

If you don’t know, take a look now.  I’ll wait…

(not sure how → iPhone users: Settings, ⏳Screen Time)

You can look at the weekly or daily average, the apps you use, and the time used.  It also shows the number of times you pick up your phone and the notifications you get on your phone.

For me and Carlos Whittaker, my podcast guest this week, we both averaged 7.5 hours per day.

Or 52 hr a week (2 full days) and 113 entire days per year.

Imagine going 7.5 weeks without screens, devices, notifications, email, social media, or anything else.

Carlos did in the summer of 2023 and chronicled the experience in his book Reconnected.

Can it be stolen if you give it away?

Carlos took his digital sabbatical in three locations: a monastery in Southern California, an Amish farm in Northeast Ohio, and his home in Tennessee.

Each location provided distinct challenges as well as eye-opening experiences.

As Carlos shared with me, a major revelation for him during his time in screen detox was how much we miss by having, using, and abusing our phones.

The wonder of the unknown yields the revelation of what is possible.

When Carlos spent time at the monastery, he hiked, read, and wondered.

On the farm, he rode bikes, got lost, drove horses, and talked with people…a lot!.

And when he returned home after 4 weeks away, everything had changed.

The biggest change…his relationships.

His daughter strikingly accounted that she was finally getting to know her real dad, “the purest version of father she had ever experienced.”

When we centralize our lives on the functionality of being tied to our devices, we give away the purest version of ourselves in relationships with others.

Our phones aren't stealing our lives because we freely give them away.

The Race for More

Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, Duck Tales, and so many other great movies chronicle the pursuit of riches, fame, or gain that the antagonist or protagonist loses everything that matters to them.

We don't have to look beyond movies to see it rampant in organizations today.

The corporate executive bent on promotion, salary, or status who burns every candle in the shop just to get there (wherever there is), only to realize he lost everything that mattered to him in the process.

Or, the leader who drives everyone and anyone so hard that they can stand atop the mountain only to realize that once they get there, everything comes crumbling down: their relationships, their health, their status.

The person who cuts corners in due diligence believing any delay in progress will cost, but does not comprehend the most damaging cost, racing through it all.

We live in a day, and corporate environment where efficiency is as essential to daily operations as breathing is to life.

The most refreshing of circumstances is being forced into a place where that hustle doesn't exist. A place where the most meaningful part of the day is waking up, appreciating the breath in your lungs, and having the opportunity to live another day.

Take it Back

Here are a few things I encourage you to try: suggestions or alterations Carlos and others have shared with me.

• Remove social media from the device you use the most. After reading Reconnected, my wife did this. Although Social Media is very much a part of her work toolbox, she chose to use only her iPad instead of her phone.

• Stop using Maps, Waze, etc.   You may get lost.  You may have to sit in traffic.  You may need to ask for directions.  I have been addicted to using a mapping software since TomTom’s were a thing.  Not exclusively but largely.  I became so blind to it that I forgot to use it when I needed it—leading me to get lost on the way to my sister's wedding twice!  Be willing to get lost, not because you aren’t paying attention, but because you don't know the way.  When you get lost, you actually find new things.  You find new restaurants or shops you never knew existed.  You also clean the plaque (like the stuff on your teeth the dentist cleans away) from your brain.  When we stop wondering our brain starts shutting down.  Start using your brain, and stop using the software!

• Set timers.  I have done this for several years now.  I have a timer for a couple of apps on my phone, limiting the amount I can use each per day.  I also have a set downtime.  Between 9 pm and 7 am, my phone shuts down for the most part.  There is limited app access, and I only get notifications or calls from family members. 

• Slow your roll.  No one else can genuinely dictate your time.  It's our choice how we use it.  It takes courage to set boundaries and limits.  But only you can do it.  Be willing to do it for yourself and those who matter in your life.

• A support community.

The Roundtable

There is one more thing.  I invite you to do more within the Impact Driven Leader Community. We are only as strong as those who encourage us to pursue the paths we know will lead us to where we want to go.

The Impact Driven Leader Roundtable was started in 2021 to provide a place, space, and community for people to learn and grow together as leaders. 

I want to offer you the same opportunity. The Roundtable is the signature offering of the Impact Driven Leader Community.

In this community, we sit and grow with each other.

This group meets weekly from February through November via Zoom. In the first year, we focus on the Awaken the Leader Within course, where we identify how to Awaken, Grow, and Lead.

Applications to join for 2025 are now open.

Lastly, Roundtable members get a free VIP ticket to the Impact Summit.  I can only imagine it will be just as magical as John described again in 2025.

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.