Letting Go of Being the Best

In partnership with

The GOATs

Michael Jordan

Wayne Gretzky

Tom Brady

Muhammad Ali

Babe Ruth

Diana Taurasi

Florence Griffith Joyner

John Wooden

Venus Williams

Mia Hamm

Joanna Lohman

I could keep going, but let me get to the point: each of them had teammates, staff, trainers, coaches, and opponents who allowed their greatness to manifest.

Jordan had Pippen and Rodman, and equally Craig Ehlo and Bryon Russell.

Gretzky had the entire NHL.

Brady had Belichick, Randy Moss, Mike Vrabel, Peyton Manning, Eli Manning, and Ray Lewis.

Ali had George Foreman, Joe Frazier, Chuck Wepner, and Angelo Dundee.

The greats were great because others excelled in their greatness.

What holds too many people back from being their greatest selves is this statement. ‘If I can't win, I won't play.’

There is only one winner in competition, yet the competition is worthwhile because it has everyone else.

Sure, we play to win in sport, business, and relationships.  That’s what it's about.  But not what it's ALL about.

Your Excellence Lies Within

Joanna Lohman, my podcast guest this week, found her greatness by not trying to be what she wasn’t.  It was when she accepted her greatness and what it could be that she excelled.  It's when we seek greatness from within.

Being great has nothing to do with your outward display of being greater than another.

Instead, greatness lies within.  Greatness is not a display of superiority but the maximization of one's uniqueness.

When we follow this definition of greatness, there is no competition for the greatest version of ourselves we can be.

The greatest version of us is the authentic version of ourselves.  This version is more embracing and accepting of others because, instead of trying to prove worth, acceptance comes from within.\

Authenticity is the outward expression of the internal appreciation of self.

When Authenticity Becomes Toxic

Leaders can most effectively serve others and themselves when they embrace their genuine, authentic selves.

People find their greatness when they authentically show up as themselves.

However, authenticity becomes toxic when it comes at the expense of others.  It becomes toxic when authenticity means showing up as you overshadow, diminish, or offend another merely by choosing to ‘be the real me.’ That’s not authenticity, it's selfishness.

It's one thing to hold true to your values; it's another to press your ideologies on others as a guise for expressing your values.

Values lift.  Ideologies diminish.

Authenticity becomes toxic when the expression of who you are chooses to offend, attack, or diminish others.  Forcing others to accept who you are rather than embracing who you are and accepting others as they are.

Joanna shared that when she travels the world as a Sport Diplomat, she has to alter her speech, clothing, and appearance to assimilate with other cultures.  This doesn't undermine her authenticity; rather, it enhances her ability to serve.  It shows that she is not bigger than those she aims to serve.  It's called reading the room.  

Reading the Room

The origins of reading the room stem from a thief casing a potential crime scene.  To be effective, a thief had to ‘read the room,’ assess everything, and how it fit into their plan to execute the heist.

Reading the room could have that context, but more appropriately, today it centers on understanding the dynamics of a place or situation we experience.

Reading the room has more to do with today, with understanding where and how to express our authenticity.  It's expressing values without forcing ideologies.

What has made this so hard is that, as a race, the last five years have forced people into forced and self-imposed isolation.

When we isolate ourselves from interactions, our ability to develop new thoughts and opinions shrinks.  We become the echo in the echo chamber that reverberates with ideologies over values.

Reading the room develops common sense—the sense of what is commonly acceptable rather than uniquely accurate.  Unique truth has its place, but can never overwhelm common truth.

It's a common truth that yields common sense, and when a unique truth supersedes, then unique sense is passed off as a value rather than ideology.

Authenticity and greatness have a place when choosing to let go of being the best becomes the pathway to serving others in the best way we can.

We can fundamentally disagree with others and still maintain a presence that shows us as a person who values others authentically.

Last Call

Here’s an invitation to you. If you want to spend time with people who think differently, too, who are up for going all in, and think there's more. Join the Summer Roundtable.

Next Wednesday, I will start a new Roundtable Cohort. It's a 12-week commitment, but you can try the first week for free. Call it a baker's dozen!

It's a weekly Zoom session where the group shares stories and experiences, fostering personal growth that will fuel professional growth.

If you'd like to learn more about the Roundtable, please schedule a time with me to discuss the details and ensure it's right for you.

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Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.