Pride is Holding You Back

We all have a problem with pride.

Our pride, the pride of others, and those we will interact with in the future.

The biggest issue with pride is that we need to figure out how it's showing up or whether it's even causing issues.

The answer to pride is personal and must be done by each person every day, all day.

A few years ago, I had this revelation as I was dealing with my pride and how my insecurity accentuated it.

“Pride is like salt.  Too much will make your mouth dry and ruin the flavor of all you do.  Too little, and everything is bland and lifeless.  It takes just the right amount.”

Take pride in your work, but not so much that you are arrogant and conceited and think it's all you.

Take pride in your appearance, but not so much that you think yourself better than others.

Ancient Wisdom

The great philosophers had much to say about pride.  Solomon reflected on the dangers of pride in his book Proverbs; "When pride comes, then comes shame.”.  Marcus Aurelius stated, “Receive without pride, let go without attachment.”  Confucius shared, "The superior man has a dignified ease without pride. The mean man has pride without a dignified ease.”

Pride has been the downfall of many.  It has closed their eyes to realities and is fed by their desire to cover their shortcomings and vulnerabilities.

We gain true strength when we recognize pride is and will be our undoing.

But how do we get there?

Pride and arrogance are directly tied to our fears and insecurities, and pride is one of the armors used to protect our inner selves.

Recognizing our fears and insecurities is the first step to dealing with our pride. Then, we must own that our pride shows up to others and can cause conflict, pain, and hardships in our relationships. Lastly, as my guest this week, Chad Veach, directs, we must “go low.” In other words, we must change our mindsets and beliefs to create different actions and interactions with others.

In his book, “I Bet You Think This Book is About You,” Chad shares the Humility Cycle.

It's a process where one can undermine one's pride by going through the framework of working to express true humility.

Courage—It takes courage to be honest and admit you struggle with pride.  It takes courage to put your hand in the air, acknowledging to others that you struggle with pride.  Humility takes courage because it takes more vulnerability than being prideful.  

Openness—Once we admit we have pride to wrestle with, the next step is being open to how pride shows up in our lives. Openness is the step to say we are part of the problem, if not the whole problem, in the issues, frustrations, and difficulties we experience in life and relationships.

Awareness—Awareness is accepting what Openness shows is going on in your life.  So often, people can see there are problems and even understand they have a part to play, but yet too often struggle to take ownership they have a place in the problem.  Awareness is knowing how your insecurity is pushed so that you react in a way that exudes your pride.

Understanding—When we understand why we react in the way we do when pride bubbles to the surface, we are actively choosing humility over pride. Choosing humility is the action step that diffuses pride at every turn and in every way.

Change—Just because we know how to diffuse pride, why our pride shows up, and the strength to admit pride is part of our lives doesn’t mean that we actually change our behavior. It must be a conscious decision that changing how we act will result in better outcomes.

Reward— Embracing humility and pushing down pride results in the best life has to offer: better health, relationships, experiences, and impact.  It doesn’t come instantly, but when we choose humility, the reward for our effort shows up in the long run.

Impacting Choices

Nothing about personal development is easy because it involves chipping away at the hard encasement that has been deposited over our soul through experiences, good and bad.

When we work to improve and grow, the steps we take are meaningful because they are an example to others of how to change and become the best version of yourself.

The best versions of me and you come when we practice humility. We can make an impact when we choose to wrestle with our pride and defeat it.

But it's all a choice.  It’s a choice to recognize that pride is holding you back and break free to make more of this life.

Did you catch this podcast? If not, listen to it here.